Sticky Friends - The Messy Ones

Anita Delene Manthe
Oct 13, 2017
3 min read

Life is messy, lives are messy. Life is ministry, lives are ministry. This is true for you and for me, wherever you live, or go to church. Church denominations, theology, doctrine, culture, traditions, country and continents do not protect us from messy people, nor does it assure that we will not become a messy person during a season of our lives. Messiness can last a short while, or it can, for some, become the manner of their life. They are messy, and hard to be around. They tire us leaving us stressed and frustrated when in their company, and when we think of them. If we were honest we’d admit we don’t want to be around them. We may have tried once or twice, and we consider it enough! Now, we avoid them at church, we sit afar from them in fellowship, and we certainly don’t welcome them for afternoon tea, or a time around our table. Who can blame us, right?

But … what if it were you in a season of messiness, a huge, ugly, big messy time of life? A time where nothing seems to be going right, not just once, but over and over again. You know your life is messy, you don’t like to rehearse it in your own thoughts. You’ve had enough of your own saga, and you know others have too.

How would you want others to treat you? I am quick to respond with a plea for patience, a plea for kindness, and a plea to forgive my sad and awkward moments – the ones we’d call messy.

When you encounter broken messiness remember the Lord’s patience with you – He never gave up. However, in His not giving up He did not entertain your sin. There were and are consequences to our down-spiraling thoughts. They lead us to deeper, darker seasons.

When you encounter messiness as a result of ongoing unrepentant sin where association with the person will cause you to stumble in thoughts or actions – you must walk away. Ask another to take on the role of encourager discipler. Step back and pray for them, pray for the person whom you’ve asked to step into the role you could no longer fill. Your stepping back is the right thing to do, and when stepping back ensure you have asked another to step forward.

At times, we must step away. We do so when messiness is contentious, belligerent and disputing Truth – it’s simply filthy! If it is a church member who is contentions – make sure you share it with church leadership. Seek their counsel, and guidance. Entrust the messy one to their care.

Pray, and be patient. God is at work! Trust Him!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you (Philippians 4:6-9).
As for you, brothers, do not grow weary in doing good. If anyone does not obey what we say in this letter, take note of that person, and have nothing to do with him, that he may be ashamed. Do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother (2 Thessalonians 3:13-15).
Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers (1 Timothy 4:16).
Do not be deceived: "Bad company ruins good morals" (1 Corinthians 15:33).
But you, beloved, building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life. And have mercy on those who doubt; save others by snatching them out of the fire; to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment stained by the flesh. Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy (Jude 20-24).