Friends & Friendships

Being part of a church family and living in community with other believers does not mean your need for friends and relationships will be met within your group. Often, it is the opposite.

Although you may be involved in ministry and have many clamoring for your time and attention, as well as have a calendar filled with many social invitations and obligations – you may, when you’re home alone, find yourself to be without close friends.

Being surrounded by many people with involvement in their lives does not mean they are your close friends, nor does it indicate the promise of deep and abiding reciprocal friendships - persons who are concerned about you beyond your meeting their needs.

It is true that many persons although very involved in ministry experience much time alone. People flock to them for their counsel and caring, assuming their involvement with others means others are involved with them. There is a difference to being friendly and caring of others and being their friend. Some would find the constant outpouring to others draining, discouraging and walk away from involvement. Yet some will stay focused. They remain involved in the lives of others without tiring and becoming discouraged. They may find themselves alone, but they are not lonely. They never are.

The difference between those who are discouraged and walk away and those who remain focused depends on their relationship with the Lord and their understanding of His friendship with them.

1. Who should satisfy our deep need for relationships?

2. How often should they do this; daily, weekly, monthly – hourly?

3. What does a satisfactory relationship look like, can you provide this kind of perfect, unfailing friendship to others – all the time?

4. Should they be expected to provide it to and for you?

5. What pattern does the Lord establish as to what true friendship looks like?

6. How can we pattern the same friendship model with others?

Reminders of the Lord’s befriending of us:

1. He loved us and befriended us when we were in sin – we did not care, nor did we love Him. We avoided Him.

2. He willingly sacrificed for us – His position, His life.

3. He does not place barriers between Himself and us when we do not respond in obedience – He deals with us patiently, caringly, with love, mercy and grace.

4. He welcomes us, changes us, grows and sanctifies us.

What kind of friend are you? From whom should you learn?

• This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends (John 15:12-13).

• By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers (1 John 3:16).

• Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever (1 John 2:15-17).

#friend