Controlled Emotions

Anita Delene Manthe
Jun 18, 2017
2 min read

Last week’s article What Do You Esteem discussed the need to pay attention to the weaknesses others have and how they are led and live controlled by their emotions. We mentioned how their passion for the causes they believe in keeps them captive to their emotions, and their wants. They are not able to see beyond their understanding of what is needed. This has resulted in a slowing down of the work and the reluctance of others to participate. The project is now being held hostage by the emotions of those who are not able to set aside personal agendas and agree on a common objective. Although we need to honor others and consider their weaknesses, we are not to enable their shortcomings. Sadly, without resolution I will need to leave the discussions until they are able to settle on a purpose and a vision for the work we need to do.

Emotional control is by no means isolated to civil causes and agendas of personal interest, it is most often practiced in day to day relationships. The most destructive patterns of control are exercised in the closest of relationships – family. Are you an emotionally controlling and manipulative person? If things don’t go your way, how do you respond? If someone suggests an alternate plan – different to yours – better than yours – what do you do?

If you are not able to listen to a discussion, nor accept another’s suggestions, ideas or counsel what are the strategies, subtle or overt, that you use to manipulate and control the situation? Are you unrelenting in your behaviors – you don’t stop until you get your own way? When this is your common practice in your family – to your spouse or your children – what are you teaching them? Is love conditional? Your love is – it’s on your terms and yours alone. Either people please you and do what you want or they are confronted with your demands? When you silence them through your manipulation you are telling them their thoughts, hopes, and desires are inconsequential. It’s your way or no way. You love your agenda, your way, and yourself more than you do them.

Would you welcome others treating you this way – being controlled and manipulated to do what they want? I don’t think so!

When you are controlling and in the process of manipulating those closest to you – you are slowly but surely driving them away – you are building a wall between them and you. Is this what you want?

Is your skilled emotional manipulation of others honoring of the Lord? I don’t think so! It’s not!

While there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way (1 Corinthians 3:3).
What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you (James 4:1).
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others (Philippians 2:3-4).
Be like-minded and sympathetic, love as brothers, be tender-hearted and humble (1 Peter 3:8).