Who Do You Esteem?

A series of meetings I have recently been invited to participate in necessitated my considering the reasons each person was at the table. Why did they invite me? What brought them there? What did they want? Were they there to contribute to a common agenda, or were they there to seek advantage for themselves? These questions arose after the second meeting when everything discussed was a repeat of the first meeting. And the third – there was still no direction. I would raise questions of those who called the meeting asking them to outline their vision for a possible project and why they thought it necessary we meet – they could not give a common objective. Every goal they mentioned ended with an agenda – theirs. They were not able to see beyond their need to identify a common purpose which we could all agree on to form a committee addressing community concerns.

To continue to meet with the group and develop a common agenda would require someone else take control – I know I could do it, but that would mean I would need to take over the whole project, give it focus and outline what the goals should be. Those who called for the meeting would be offended – even if they were not able to construct a common purpose – and keep it focused for the long-term. They would be offended because of their emotional involvement. My suggesting I take control – even if done with respect, kindness and care would offend them. Besides that, this group of women have worked hard and sacrificed much through the years – their inability to voice a common purpose to keep us focused, working together and directed, was due to their emotional involvement. They are not able to think objectively because they are so passionate and caught up in the work they do.

To serve them best I gently discussed other projects I am involved with and if they approved my asking for assistance from the leaders of those different organizations, for someone to counsel us – and direct us in our meetings. That possibly outsiders would be able to share with us best practices, and suggest practical means we could cultivate into our purpose to be the best help to all. They listened and agreed. I believe an outsider would be able to speak into the situation and those who were so emotionally involved that it blinded their ability to think objectively – would listen.

How would you have dealt with it? Would you have been cautious and patient, or would you have voiced your opinion thereby denigrating theirs? Do you care for and esteem women like them – value their years of sacrificial service to their communities sufficiently to seek ways to honor them? Are you able to keep quiet long enough to listen, pray, and serve others – even at your expense?

• Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others (Philippians 2:3-4).

• Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience (Colossians 3:12). Be like-minded and sympathetic, love as brothers, be tender-hearted and humble (1 Peter 3:8).

#meeting #wisdom