Contention or Contentment

I was asked to speak to a couple – particularly the husband – about a schedule change. It was said the man was contentious and argumentative – and someone needed to speak to him to ensure he was calm about a situation. They expected him to respond in a negative way. I prepared myself for the discussion, and went to the meeting. Because of the warnings I had received, I was not prepared for what occurred. I spoke to him explaining the delay in our commitment, and offered our solution – I explained the changes we were in the process of making to end the delay – soon it would be over. I committed to keep them updated so they would know we had a resolution and it was in effect. He was sweet, kind and reasonable. Instead of the anticipated contentious response, I received a contented and congenial one.

However, the same was not true for his spouse. Her conversation was not open to reason, she showed no contentment – it was the opposite – contention. She challenged every statement I made expressing displeasure with the situation. Her tone was filled with complaining and irritation.

I began to wonder if the warning I received was accurate. Was he really the contented one, and she the firebrand? Was she the one who caused contention, inflaming others to be angry and combative? Was she the one who caused divisions because of her contentious tone and demeanor?

It seemed that way to me. And, I was warned. This situation caused me to pay attention to the unpleasant affect a contentious person can have on others. Imagine if someone like her continued to be contentious not only for a twenty minute discussion, but that they were that way all day and every day – morning and night. We need to be warned, we need to be cautioned. We need to examine our own heart, our own responses. Are you like her? Do you control others and situations because of your contentious character. Are you a shrew? Do you provoke others with your words and attitude? Do you create controversy? Do you bury others with your tongue, with your words?

As I left the discussion I wondered about this couple, what was true and real about them? Who was the content one and who was the contentious one? What is true about you?

• A foolish son is ruin to his father, and a wife's quarreling is a continual dripping of rain (Proverbs 19:13).

• It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife (Proverbs 21:9).

• It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman (Proverbs 21:19).

• A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one's right hand (Proverbs 27:15-16).

• Let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves (1 Peter 3:4-5).

#contention #contentment #anger