Hurtful Words

Anita Delene Manthe
Oct 10, 2016
2 min read

Have you ever felt a need to bite your tongue to prevent words tumbling from your mouth in response to a disturbing statement you heard? The statements made were not general, addressing morality, ethics, sin, or another person. They were statements personal to you, about you. I think we can agree it is not easy in moments like these to remain quiet.

How should we respond in moments like this? Should we challenge inferences and blatant statements made in a public setting? Or should we remain quiet overlooking the offense?

Careful heart examination is needed to ensure a truthful answer. Often not responding is the wisest response. It gives us much needed time to examine the truth about what occurred, to discern the heart attitude of the person whose words offended. We get time to weigh the truth about the situation based on Scripture. What does the Lord want us to know about the situation, and how would He have us respond?

When deception is observed in another’s public statements about you, know their intent is to mislead. They hope to ensnare others to join them in believing what is false. To ally against you, and what you stand for. Without a quiet heart to observe what is true about the situation a gracious response will not happen. Delicacy is required, a soft and gentle response, polite and pleasing to defuse the potential of further uncontrolled words.

Practice discretion, you will need to respond with caution and circumspection to do what is correct – to do the right thing. Without discretion and caution, and the choosing of words you will fall into the trap of the one whose words compromised you. It may be hard to bite your tongue, but biting your tongue is the correct response. Retaliatory words will inevitably be ones you regret.

A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention (Proverbs 15:18).
The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life (Proverbs 10:11).
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Proverbs 15:1).
Whoever hates disguises himself with his lips and harbors deceit in his heart; when he speaks graciously, believe him not, … though his hatred be covered with deception, his wickedness will be exposed (Proverbs 26:24-26).
A meek tongue is a tree of life; but perverseness therein is a breaking of the spirit (Proverbs 15:4).
With me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me (1 Corinthians 4:3-4).
When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly (1 Peter 2:23).