A Bullied Response

No one likes to be controlled! I know I don’t; do you?

Bullies are controlling, overbearing persons who intimidate physically, emotionally or intellectually. Yes, bullying is not isolated to a playground where children name-call and shove each other often resulting in a brawl. Sadly, adults practice bullying too. They do so with a skill to leave deep and injurious wounds. They will use whatever it takes to get their way.

Bullies can be blatant in their strategy – open and aggressive, but they can also be subtle and subversive. When this is their game plan, manipulation is the tool they use. They will provoke quarrels, insult you, and be loud in expressing subjective statements to ally others against you. The outcome of their behavior is to provoke a response – anger and frustration to leave you shamed and discouraged.

We don’t like to see it when others are victims of bullying, and we certainly don’t like it when we become the person it is directed at.

Sadly, bullying behaviors are found in our families, playgrounds, community, place of work, and at times in church too. It exists where jealousies run deep and disrespect has become rooted in thoughts of others. Although we never want to be the target of a bully, nor to see another experience their attack, we can’t escape it. It is a common experience, the result of living in a fallen world. However, we can learn to respond to these assaults when they occur.

What do we need to know about a bully to be prepared to interact with them in a positive way?

A bully is:

• angry, and frustrated – they are discontent

• insecure – they are dissatisfied with life

• a coward – they do not know how to live with courage especially emotional courage

• without wisdom – knowledge to do what is right

• someone who likes to provoke an angry response

How to respond to a bully:

• Make no friendships with a man given to anger, and with a wrathful man do not associate, lest you learn his ways and get yourself into a snare (Proverbs 22:24-25)

• Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. (Romans 12:17-18)

We need to remember that it takes two to bring about a difficult situation. We can choose how to respond to bullies. We are answerable for our response to any tactic they may use. Do not meet a bully with their coveted response. Respond with peace – train your thoughts to respond with grace.

A bully may always contend with you, you do not need to respond in the same manner. A continued calm response will meet with success. Soon a bully will realize their tactics are worthless, their malicious thoughts may continue, their attacks may intensify. However, you can rest confident trusting the Lord and His ways will always bring you victory. This is true not only for adults, but for children too. Train them to respond with grace and confidence to the bullies they will meet in life.

#bullied