Don't Cry Over Spilt Milk

Sometimes crying over spilt milk is a good response. We are emotional beings, and emotions are an expression of a tender heart. We care, we empathize and we express our love and compassion. We share in the expression of grief. Crying over bereavements and losses is appropriate, as well as crying over sad events, and circumstances. Crying at the right time, for the right reason is a good thing.

However, at times emotions can be downright childish and immature. This is true especially when emotional responses add to, or create the difficulties we face. Emotional displays are often used to manipulate and control. I’m sure your life experiences have allowed you to observe this too.

Recently someone told me that everyone knows she, as well as a few of her friends, are emotional people. Because they know this about them, it needs to be respected. In this statement she is saying everyone needs to treat her, and her associates, differently. If not, it will be their fault if words and actions cause an emotional response! Really? Always it is the fault of the person whom they say made them cry. Always?

Telling others they need to be cautious around you because you are sensitive and prone to cry should anything happen or be said that you do not like is ridiculous. Stating this is not a position of maturity, stating this is controlling. It is manipulative. It is unloving and unkind. This is the behavior we expect of a child.

It is time to grow up! Control your emotions. Work on those things that cause you to be so very sensitive. Why is it that you cannot hear a negative statement about yourself? Why is it that anything you perceive as negative should cause you to cry and to fall apart?

Consider the person whom you are accusing to have caused your emotional outburst, who may have used a harsh tone in conversation with you, what are the circumstances of their life? Is it you they are angry or frustrated with? Could it be they are in a very trying situation and they need your listening ear, not your accusing ear? They need your compassion, and not your criticism. They need your response to be caring and calm, to dispel their fear, confusion, and hurt.

When we think of others, and put their needs ahead of ours, when we are not the first and foremost in our thoughts we are able to respond in a mature way. We are then able to cry with them, smile with them, encourage and love them.

• Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. (Romans 12:15-16)

• Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:8-9)

• When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. … So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:11-13)

#emotions